Years back, I had read an article written by a religious leader in a newspaper that instead of mourning for our losses and setbacks in life, we should celebrate them. Appears contradictory ? It had reminded me of a very famous Hindi film song which I have always found very close to my heart – Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhaata Chala Gaya, Har Fikr Ko Dhuen Mein Udaata Chala Gaya which has been sung by Rafi for Dev Anand under the music direction of Jaidev in the movie – Hum Dono (1961). However despite the melodious composition and the enchanting style of Mohammed Rafi, the singer and Dev Anand, the performer; it’s the words which make the essence of this song. Every word of this song is a heart-conqueror, presenting a philosophy for life.
Is it the right philosophy to live a life ? Well, yes. I believe it to be so. Why should we mourn our losses, defeats and setbacks when we don’t have control over several factors leading to them ? Improve yourself and prepare better for the next opportunity, is a dry sermon given to every loser by several preachers, (paid as well as free) consultants roaming around and the so-called well-wishers of his / hers. The loser is not an idiot who is not able to understand and grasp this fact himself / herself. Such sermons are nothing but the salt sprinkled on the wound. Then if the loser concerned is (unfortunately) lonely, having none to understand and share his / her heartburn (without being judgmental towards him / her), then what’s the best way to deal with the reality glaring into his / her face ? The best way is to celebrate the loss / setback / defeat and allow the heartburn to lose its existence in the same. Apparently a celebration of the defeat, actually this will be a celebration of life which is much more precious than considered in general and much more bigger than odd defeats. The battles will continue to come until the breaths and heartbeats stop for good. After losing one battle, another one can be won which may not be the same as the earlier (lost) one but all the same, it will be a battle which will definitely render a soothing effect to the heart once won.
In Hum Dono, the hero follows this philosophy to blow away every worry and every sorrow in the smoke emerging out of the puffs of the cigarette lying in his lips. With my disclaimer that I do not promote smoking, I appreciate this philosophy because worry does not lead to any solution. In Love Aaj Kal (2009), the lead pair celebrates its break-up by throwing a party (titling it as a break-up party, confusing the guests as to whether they should congratulate or condole for it). That should be the spirit to live the life in the real sense. Everybody can celebrate in his / her own style, as per his / her own choice of the means to celebrate and within the constraints attached to him / her. A celebration is a celebration. Humming own favourite song all by himself / herself is also a way to celebrate which does not cost anything.
I have learnt this lesson quite late but once learnt, now I fully endorse the thoughts of the holy man in the article (referred to at the beginning of this post) as well as the philosophy elucidated in the song of Hum Dono penned by the immortal Shaayar – Saahir Ludhiyanvi who himself had become a great Shaayar (Urdu poet) after a suffering a heartbreak in his adolescence. Abraham Lincoln remained a loser throughout his life before finally becoming the president of the USA. I had underscored this fact in one of my blog posts – ‘Lose the battle, win the war’ that finally, it’s the last laugh that matters. Hence why to lose heart at (relatively) smaller setbacks.
I lost my hopes to become an IAS officer finally on 1st May, 2000 when received the letter of a friend from Delhi informing me that I could not clear the main examination of the Civil Services which was my last attempt at the same. In between that bid of myself, I had met a lethal accident also and underwent many surgeries and thereafter landed up at Tarapur (Maharashtra) in a completely lonely state of myself (my family being away from me, at Rajasthan). And now that final hope had also gone with no attempts or age left for that mission. I was in a completely disheartened state in that evening after reading my friend’s letter. However I consumed some alcoholic drink by visiting a bar-cum-restaurant (Shivanand was its name) at the nearby market place called Chitralaya. I can’t say today whether I was mourning or celebrating at that moment but gradually I overcame my heartburn. After a few days, I made a trip to Lonavla and spent two days there in the lap of the nature, thinking about my life and making some new resolutions. And after a few days, a new opportunity came my way in the form of the Rajasthan Administrative Services (RAS). Though I could not make it to even RAS but against all hopes, I succeeded in getting myself transferred to Rajasthan by the end of the year.
Since then, I have been a firm believer in the following lines of the songs – Barbaadiyon Ka Sog Manaana Fizool Tha, Barbaadiyon Ka Jashn Manaata Chala Gaya (it was futile to mourn the ruins, therefore I kept on celebrating the ruins).
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