Love vis-a-vis Respect

In the year 2010, two movies were released which I did not review despite watching them. Reviewers heaped praise on them but I had my own reservations. Now when the talks pertaining to them have calmed down for good, I share some thoughts regarding them on the occasion of Valentine’s Day.

One was Band Baaja Baaraat which was a box office hit. The subject was novel and the first half was quite entertaining. However the character of the heroine (Shruti Kakkad) was shown such that not only she wanted to see everything through her own goggles but also she was selfish and ungrateful. The hero who did everything for herself, her career and her wedding-planner business just for the sake of his love for her, did not matter for her at all. She was quite happy using him as a ladder to climb the heights of success in her business instructing him loud and clear to stay away from her on personal level. But when she herself felt tender feelings for him in her heart, she wanted him to love her the way she liked. And when the boy did not respond (because she herself had dictated him – don’t love your business partner), then she unceremoniously threw him out of the business, forgetting conveniently all the toil and perspiration that he had invested in the business to take it to the heights she could never thought of. Still in the end, they were shown as united without the girl having even the smallest of realization (leave aside repentance) of whatever she had done to the boy. I found (and still find) everybody going gaga over the movie as it were some classic or masterpiece. Well, can such a girl make a good wife ? The boy and the girl got married finally but can they pull together when one of them does not give a damn for the feelings of the other ?

The other one was Khatta Meetha which flopped but drew a lot of praise from all and sundry. Its hero (Sachin Tichkule) slapped the heroine publicly while in college (though he himself was at fault) and after himself becoming a contractor and herself becoming a government officer, he abused and humiliated her not only at her home but also in her office. He blamed her for all of his losses and failures without realizing her sincerity for duty and love for him. When his workman proved to be a skirt-chaser in the home of the heroine, then also he blamed herself and her (female) family members only and did not bother to introspect or examine the things at his end. The height came when he framed her in a false bribery case and got her suspended from the job. Still in the end, the couple got married. Can such a self-centred and chauvinistic man prove to be a good husband ? Isn’t his wife destined to bear with his chauvinism for the remaining part of her life ?

Quite candidly on this forum, I am referring to my own love. I also had a memorable Valentine’s Day evening whose fragrance is still felt in my breaths and melody is still heard in my heartbeats. But the thing is that I respected her a lot before loving her. And she also respected me first and loved later. My viewpoint is that you cannot love whom you cannot respect. Can the love of Shruti Kakkad of Band Baaja Baaraat or Sachin Tichkule of Khatta Meetha be considered real when they did not have any respect for the personalities and the feelings of their respective partners ? No ! That love is just a hoax. Love sans respect is no love. Respect means respect for the person in your partner as well as respect for his / her feelings, thoughts and viewpoint. And you have to see the things from his / her angle too instead of imposing your opinions on him / her. Then only you deserve to be called a true lover. Love does not mean looking at each other, it means looking together in the same direction. Respect is a pre-requisite for love as well as an integral part of it, it’s the considered opinion of Jitendra Mathur.

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About Jitendra Mathur

A Chartered Accountant with literary passion and a fondness for fine arts
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2 Responses to Love vis-a-vis Respect

  1. Love does not mean looking at each other, it means looking together in the same direction. – That’s a very apt quote. I concur with your our views about Band Baaja. Haven’t seen the other one though I remember that the old Khatta Meetha was a very nice movie.

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